LAD are well-used to reading ridiculous stuff on Facebook sites, and in letters loyalists and UKIP councillors send to our MI5 office in Holywood.  Strangely enough, the republicans haven't realised we're there.  They tend to cover a wide range of  subjects, including hate, paranoia, sectarianism and flegs.  Recent comments from popular local childrens entertainer, William Humphrey Dumbty, MLA, have us stumped though.  You can see the article in question here.

William Humphrey Dumbty is angry

Mr Dumbty, who has his finger in the pulse of loyalist anger, has been reading up on Tha Arts and although he can't remember the last film or play he saw (probably the Nativity play he was in at primary school) he is quite the expert on Tha Arts because he visited a theatre with the Starmount Culture, Toys and Games Committee to make sure that that Carrul McCoolin wumman isn't spending money on Taigy things.  He might have one of them 'Loyalist Filter' gadget things too but that's just specliation.

Humphrey Dumbty reckons that local theatres don't do enough for the wurkin class loyal Pradisan because they keep putting on lots of high brow stuff with no marching and that.  It must stop!  Theatres has a obligashin to teach wurking class loyal Pradisans about the "concept of Tha Arts".  Theatres is failing the people of Ballygomartin, Ballymurphy and Ballymacarrett.

LAD thinks William Humphrey Dumbty should go to a play and tell us what it is like and if there are pictures and bands and a march and that, then it might be good for LAD.   We don't see why posh Taigs and some Pradisan Lundys who have turned they're backs on the wurking class Pradisans, to go and live on the Malone Road, should get all the money for things they like.  Wurkin class loyal Pradisans don't get any money for The Arts. So it's not fair so it is.


Well first aff - before I get til the point I want to make about these Italian nancy boys coming over hear I want to make a wee point about the on line sensor ship that’s going on here in Ulster.  I seen youse boys at LADs been getting a fair bit off stick of Facebook this last couple of days and youse know better than anyone I’ve been there, wore the T shirt and went down to dirty Dublin and sure what did youse boys give me but dog abuse.  Serves them rite I says, thatll harden them after all the propaganda youse have put out against the protestant loyalist people.

But after having til sit throu Emerdale and Coronation Street with the wife I have decided to give youse one last chance to put yer house in order and stop talking about that atension seeking wee skipe Jamie Bryson or else I will put out a fatwah agin ye and this time, you are off air for good. Youse are lucky I have a sense off humous or their wuld be no second chances. I’ve spoke til my coleages in the Protestant coalission and they have said no more touting unless someone pays them. According to my soul brother Sammy its getting boring sitting up in that caravan with oul Geordie Chittick going on an on about King billy and the charge of the light brigade so it is, a bit like Big Brother with lots of spitting and bad smells. Get back LAD quick he says – givem one last chance to stand by Ulster and the PUL people or weel march down to Dublin and demand our rites off Facebook again so we will QS.

Apart from LAD getting threw off of Facbook there’s one other major thing annoying me and the wife apart from the usual stuff about that horse dealing maffiosis Slab Murphy. Did youse here about this Italian cycle race, the latest sell out the DUP are trying to sell us? Their coming right here til the heart off Ulster right past my own front door in Markethill, emisseries off the Roman Antichrist himself says wee pastor Barrie. Not only that, there going on to Forkhill and up Slab Murphy’s drive to pass on intelligense and fill up with diesel and then all the way to Dublin in time for mass with seven bishops and yer man Gay Burns at the pro-provo cathedral.

Them boys must be on strong drugs for the furthest I’ve been on a bike is Tandragee and that was with the wife on the back just after we started courting. We were going to a rally agin the anglo irish agreemint. Well its seven mile from my front door to Tayto Castle and by the time we got there it was dark and Paisley was away back to his manchion. So I bought the girl a big bag of pickled onion and the rest is history. Nowadays I wear durex, tho its true the flavers aren’t as nice.

Anyways, what I’m asking youse is this – what is it these foreinners want with us anyways. Why are they coming over here chasing pink jumpers on multy million pound bikes. What does the people of Markethill want with two hundred sweaty papists invading our piecefull wee town. And when are they handing out these giros. Or is only Slab and his thugs who’s making anything out of it?  

The worst thing about these Italian tramps apart from them shaving there legs like ladyboys, is they’re riding down to bandit country knee deep in the blood off UDR men moordered by roman catholic terrorist scum that hid like a pack of cards in ditches in the dead off nite. How wuld the Italians like it it if I went over til Las Vegas on a pogo stick and started dancing on Julius Seezers  grave? Or if I pissed in the Levi  fountain. So my message to the sissy boys of this giro Italian thing is this  – either you boys stop at the UDR memorial in Glenanne to obsurve a minute silence and write a big check payable to FAIR or I will dress up as Abu Hamza and chase youse all the way to the border and even beyond on my racer.

See youse in Dundalk amigos.

Fuck the Pope

Wm Frazer